Henny Youngman, famous for his one-liners, once said that “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”

Is it really? Or are the secrets to this lifetime commitment of hearts, minds, and souls simply misunderstood, unexplored, or even just ignored? Take a look at this checklist of tips for a lasting marriage and make sure you’re not missing any of it:

Photo: “Ring Casting Heart Shaped Shadow” by Phaitoon 

Fairytales don’t just happen – not in a real marriage.

You have to work things out and make choices to build your happy ending. Don’t expect unrealistic, smooth, knight-in-shining-armor moves from him as you’ve see in Cinderella. Get real and switch from being hopelessly in love to being the woman who will embrace and accept his strengths and much more his weaknesses. Real love is tested and grows with time.

Honesty and loyalty are very important.

Trust is the backbone that gives strength to every relationship, no more explanations needed. Trust, Honesty, Loyalty – whatever you want to call it. Without these, your marriage is a ticking bomb.

Speak out!

Don’t turn into a shell. You’re married to each other because of how you connected as boyfriend and girlfriend, now is not the time to stop communicating your feelings to each other. Don’t let emotions overwhelm your ability to rationalize.

Choose your words carefully and remember it is your other half you are trying to hurt with your words. Whatever hurts one also hurts the other. Learn to manage your emotions and let your love for each other dominate any negative emotions.

Don’t try to change your partner.

Consider changing yourself first. Let go of criticism and blame, instead choose to appreciate and compliment. Be gentle with your words, actions and reactions and always say the magic words. Agree or lovingly disagree. Respect your spouse for everything he/she is or is not. You don’t have to be alike all the time.

Be fair.

Take responsibility whether it be chores, parenting, or money. Always lend a helping hand, a listening ear, and a comforting shoulder to your spouse and send him/her the message that you are in this together.

Never ever think of divorce as an option.

Rather, choose to make your marriage survive the tests of time. Be loyal to your spouse to be worthy of his/her trust. If you establish an open and constant communication with your spouse along with honesty and trust then you are mostly alright. For sure, there will be bumps along the way but you have each other, right?

Enjoy the pleasures of being married.

Grow together and laugh together. Engage in pleasurable interactions. You don’t have to take all things too seriously. Cuddle and touch each other all the time. Intimacy with your spouse prompts the release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for feelings of love and closeness.

Make it a point to spend time with each other everyday.

Drink your morning coffee together, take short walks after dinner.

Less time for schedule romantic dates? Hey, you can be intimate without the candles and red wine. Is he heading out for the gym? Sign up for couple’s gym class with him. Let gym time be a romantic fitness time.

Are you booking a body wrap appointment at your favorite spa? Make it a treat for two! A body wrap is an intimate treatment that is performed in the spa or at your own home. With the combined healing, slimming, and beautifying qualities of the mineral clay, salt, essential oils and beneficial herbs, you and your spouse are bound to have a perfect bonding time!

REMEMBER HOW YOU FELL IN LOVE.

Nothing is more important in a marriage than the relationship between husband and wife. Do spend some time to reminisce happy memories with your spouse. Play games that will measure how familiar you are with each other.

Marriage is like a boomerang, throw a thousand small kindnesses and you’ll find them coming right back at you.

With these achievable guidelines we can all help protect the sanctity and preserve the bliss in every marriage.

 

About the Author: Ella Simpson has been providing inch loss solutions for brides and wives (and even husbands, at times) over the years. She has spent years experimenting with natural ingredients to formulate spa quality body wrap products for home use, which she now sells at her website Wrap Yourself Slim Australia for a fraction of the cost of spa treatment.